The person I am now is strictly because I chose to no longer allow myself to wallow in my emotions. It was my first real relationship so I had to idea what I was doing. I was just going along with the flow. When things ended, I was stuck asking “What now?” I had never experienced being in a real relationship so, of course, I was clueless as to how to get over a break up. I had thoughts running through my head nonstop all day and night but I could not get them organized into anything that made sense.